WOMAN DISMAYED TO DISCOVER THAT HER NEW BOYFRIEND ISN’T PSYCHIC

A 28 year old woman from Clevedon is recovering from shock after making the grim discovery that her new boyfriend is not actually psychic.

“I just assumed that he was,” explained civil servant Stephanie Ryder, “but then, when he asked me how I was and I said I was fine, he believed me. That was the first clue that perhaps something was not right.”

But worse was yet to come. “My birthday was coming up,” Miss Ryder went on, “and I said I didn’t want him to make too much of a fuss. And then when my birthday came round all he did was give me some lovely presents and take me out for a nice, quiet romantic meal for two.”

“Apparently, I was supposed to organise a surprise party for her, or something,” explained 30 year old Justin Simmons, the non-psychic boyfriend in question. “I don’t know how on earth I was supposed to know that. She didn’t say anything. All she said was not to make too much of a fuss about it. Which I didn’t.”

Miss Ryder has since returned home to be cared for by her parents while she recovers. “I thought all boyfriends were supposed to be psychic,” she stated. “If they’re not, then what am I supposed to do? Be upfront with him? I mean, what’s the world coming to?”

But Mr Simmons was unrepentant. “If she wanted a party she should have just told me and I’d have sorted it,” he shrugged. “I’m starting to get the feeling that I can’t bloody win here.”

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