TUTANKHAMUN’S COCK REALLY DOES LOOK LIKE BURNT SAUSAGE, CONFIRM ARCHAEOLOGISTS

If you’ve ever burnt a sausage whilst preparing a meal, chances are one of your wittier associates has informed you that it “looks just like Tutankhamun’s cock.” It’s an insult that has been thrown around the nation’s kitchens for generations, but it seems that there may more truth to these words than people realise.

“I’ve had a peek at it myself, and yes, it does indeed resemble a burnt sausage.” So stated archaeologist Dr Zachary Spitfire, who recently led a team of researchers as they attempted to uncover further details about the so-called Boy King’s genealogy.

“We had a right old laugh about it, I can tell you,” he went on. “I mean, I’ve said that to people myself when they’ve left the bangers in the pan for too long. Including my mum.”

Tutanhkamun ascended to the throne of ancient Egypt in 1333 BC aged just 9 or 10 and ruled until he died at the age of 18. So the question everyone wants to ask is, did he have much to wave about?

“Not really,” said Dr Spitfire. “If you’ve spent the last three and a half thousand years being dead, it’s only reasonable to expect a bit of shrinkage.”

So now that you’ve had a peek at the Boy King’s manhood, will you ever be able to eat a burnt sausage again?

“Hm. I dunno. It has put me off a bit, it has to be said.”

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